Since this is my final column as your President, I want to take this opportunity to say a few heartfelt goodbyes without “poaching” anything from my speech in Austin for the really, really final goodbye (I promise).
So, uppermost in my mind is saying goodbye to the most difficult, the most personally challenging, and the most rewarding office I have ever held…and I have held many offices in my lifetime, since I have wanted to boss around any group I have belonged to…just ask my Family Group! I decided long ago that I would use this time given to me by you as an invitation to grow and learn, occasionally kicking and screaming, but mostly feeling curious and stimulated. Yes, one of the things I have learned more about is how fulfilling it is to be of service rather than to control.
I say a heartfelt goodbye to the best team with whom anyone, anywhere, could have worked. Our EC, our Committee Chairs, and our Editors have all really pitched in and worked well both alone and together. I am really going to miss the honor of your permission to lead you and work beside you. After a few months with us, Lyn Taylor and John Grazianno, both leaders at Cap Hill, said to me that they had never seen an organization where so many members volunteered for jobs, then worked so hard and cared so much about the jobs they were doing, as we do in AAP. They only echoed my own astonishment at your generosity and love for this organization. The EC has supported me, challenged me, picked me up when I fell down, made me laugh when I felt like crying, and given me more good loving than I ever thought possible. For someone who is still learning to ask for help, you were the perfect teachers. I got all the help I needed and so much more. Maybe best of all, I got company in the struggle. For an only child, this is a revelation. It’s these precious relationships with you around the work of AAP that I most grieve to let go.
There is no doubt among us that this job is not for the faint of heart; it is a crucible where you will have the chance to see your faults and their consequences, your character for better or for worse, and have at least some of your blind spots pointed out to you in no uncertain terms. Sometimes it’s hard to feel grateful for this type of feedback, at least in the moment, but it can become a valuable insight into our deepest selves, if we can open to it. As I step down, there are many such moments I treasure and will take with me. I also saw my strengths in action, resulting in a more realistic appreciation of the particular gifts I do have as well as those that I do not.
On a lighter note, I say goodbye to the free President’s Suites, the free meeting registrations, the power and prestige, the blame and the doubt. Goodbye to copious emails asking for my opinion, or my experience, or my approval. Goodbye to waking up in the night or the morning and having AAP be one of the top two things on my mind to worry about. And I sure hope I can say goodbye to those anxious AAP dreams where I arrive at the school or meeting room unprepared for the exam…or I can’t find the room at all.
As I close this article, I feel sadness, pride, nostalgia, relief, and excitement about what will happen next for AAP and for me. I believe we, your volunteer leaders, have done the best possible job we could do as a team for all of you. I am proud of us and of what we have accomplished these last two years. We have each done our part. I leave with a full and happy heart. Mission accomplished and the captain is the better for it.
Lorrie Hallman
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